Coming Home to Maverick Page 7

  “So you went.”

  “I went. He offered me a room at his place, and I never left.”

  “And Gracie?”

  “He’s her father.”

  Maverick nodded. He didn’t know what to say. If he said what he was actually thinking, he might never be able to take it back. “Did you love him?

  “That’s not a fair question.”

  “Why not? Seems fair to me. Did you or didn’t you?”

  She shook her head. “No. But…he told me he’d get me a contract. He told he we’d take the world and I’d be a star…” She looked away. He could see she was in pain, but he didn’t want to comfort her, not yet.

  She continued, “But I was a coward. I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t break your heart and see it with my own eyes.”

  “So you ran and never looked back?”

  She shook her head, the tears falling freely now, wetting her cheeks. “I looked back, every single day. I looked back the very next morning, but I saw the papers, I saw people’s posts. Everyone was so mad at me. I knew I’d broken your heart. I couldn’t face it.”

  She looked out the window, her pain obvious in the lines of her face. “I know what you’re thinking. But I warned you. Nothing I say is meant to make you feel better.”

  “Then, what?”

  “Well, then I learned he’d lied. There was no team of producers ready to hear my talent. He had no connections. He was as young and green as I was. We tried to get as many auditions as we could. I sang anywhere that had a gig—bars, lots of bars, people’s parties, private events.” She looked away with such an expression of guilt he wondered what burdens she was carrying.

  “Look, Bailey, I’m not saying what you did was okay or anything, but it’s done, right? If you had to sing at a few gigs that made you uncomfortable, you learned that it wasn’t your thing.”

  She didn’t answer. But he could tell she was considering what he said. Then she took a shuddering breath. “So one day, I smelled perfume on Daniel’s shirt. And saw the lipstick. It all sounds so cliché, but she was the new potential, the talent, the possible star, and I was a failure. He kicked me out when he found out I was pregnant.”

  “What?” Maverick’s temper flared, but he kept it under wraps. What kind of lazy lowlife backed away from his responsibility like that?

  Then he considered what Bailey’d been through. “Where did you go? What did you do?”

  “It just gets more and more cliché. I waitressed. I sang small gigs. I worked at the local department store, trying to make a name for myself, trying desperately to prove I was not a failure.”

  He opened his mouth.

  “And don’t say it. I know I should have come home, but you don’t understand. You will never understand what it feels like to fail. To let everyone you know down in such an unforgivably epic way and then try to live every day to make up for that fact. It’s a living hell, and I was stuck in it.”

  He reached for her hand, but she waved him away. “What if I’d come home? What then? I run to Nashville, get pregnant, and then come running back so y’all can pick up the pieces for me? No, I was gonna fix it first. Make a life for myself, and then come home.” She shook her head. “So I did that. Lived that life, trying so hard to be something, anything, other than a failure. Until I just couldn’t anymore. We were living on welfare. Rent was way too high. I couldn’t even get Gracie started in school. We lived in my car. Maverick. My car. So I came home. I came back for my daughter. I knew even if I failed at parenting, my parents were pretty dang great, and they could give Gracie the life she deserves.”

  So she hadn’t come home for him. But she’d been through way more than he’d imagined.

  “Maverick, I’m sorry. You deserve better. So much better. I wish you were really, truly happy right now so I didn’t know deep inside that I’d ruined everything for you as well as for me.”

  He leaned back in his seat and faced the windshield.

  “Being back here means I failed. It means I’m nothing. I messed up so bad not even I can fix it, and I’m just hoping my parents can pick up the pieces and make something special for Gracie.”

  He closed his eyes. He knew he needed to say something to Bailey. His heart broke all over again for her. And for his own failures. “I’m sorry. Bailey, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, sorry I didn’t listen or consider that my plans might not be your plans. I messed up.”

  “No, Maverick, that’s not what happened. You deserve better—”

  “I know I do.”

  “Oh.” She seemed to shrink.

  “Look. I’ve got some things to deal with here. This is a lot. I’ll be honest. But there’s one thing you gotta do.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You have got to let God do His part. You’re talking like this is all on you. Yes, you did some selfish things. You broke Hearts. But He knew we’d all do dumb things. He paid a price for a reason.” It hurt him to say any of these things when he was hurting right then, when everything she told him was causing him pain.

  She opened her mouth and then closed it, with a small shake of her head.

  “I’m sorry you went through what you did. But I gotta let this settle for a few days. What you said…you’re right. None of this makes it any better. I got so many things to think about now, I don’t know where to begin.”

  “I understand.”

  But she couldn’t understand. She had no way of knowing that he was gonna sit up all night wondering what would have happened if he’d known what Bailey was going through. He was gonna replay all the moments he should have encouraged her to chase her dream. She’d wanted her own success. Why hadn’t he seen that at the time? Why hadn’t she just told him? He was gonna relive that hour he’d waited at the head of the church with everyone in town looking at him. At first, the looks had been amused, then sympathetic, and then outright pitying.

  He’d think about his dad dying and how she hadn’t been there, how he’d had to ignore his grief and push forward for the family. He was gonna wish she hadn’t been with another man. Wish that Gracie was actually his child, their daughter. He was gonna go through all the garbage that these last five years had brought him, and then he was gonna let it go. He’d pray for help and then throw it away.

  He had to.

  Chapter 9

  Days had gone by. A full week. Bailey tried to move forward with the same hope she’d felt when she arrived at her parents’ house. But Maverick hadn’t reached out since their talk, and she found it hard to think about anything else. The hurt in his face had nearly destroyed her. And then his final words to her…she closed her eyes. “Let God do His part.” She shook her head. Did God have a part in her life even after all she’d done?

  Bailey waited in her car, waited for the courage to go to something so simple as a job interview. A position opened up at the middle school, so she called and set up an interview for this morning. And now she had to get out of the car, walk across the parking lot, enter the school building, and try to convince them she’d make a good teacher. She was early, so she had some time, but she couldn’t make herself get out of her car. She sat, staring at her steering wheel.

  They were looking for a choir director, and Bailey would love to take that job. She could sing, help her students develop their talents, choose their music, maybe even write songs for them. But how could she present herself in a way that would make them want to hire her? She was a mess. She was unreliable. She’d failed at everything she’d tried and had no references or anyone who could vouch for her.

  The entire town knew what she’d done to Maverick. That alone negated most job skills that would be of value. She didn’t really think they would hire her, but when they asked her for an interview, she’d been hopeful.

  Her phone beeped; a video call was coming in. Gracie’s face filled her screen. “Hi, Mommy.”

  “Hey there, sugarplum. How’s it going?” Just seeing her daughter’s face ignited a spark of hope inside of h
er.

  “I’m good. Grandpa said I can ride the pony today.”

  “You’re gonna love it. Isn’t Grandpa good?”

  “Yeah.” Her small pout came out.

  “What’s wrong, honey?”

  “He’s good, but I miss you. Nobody’s as good as you, Mom.”

  Her throat tightened, and her eyes welled up. “Thank you, Gracie.”

  She made a heart with her two hands, and Bailey rested the phone on her dash so she could do the same. “Now, I gotta go in there and get us a job. What do you think I should tell them so they’ll hire me?”

  “Tell them you’re just what they need.”

  “I like that. I think you’re absolutely right. And, Gracie?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re just what I need.” She kissed the screen and hung up.

  For a moment, Bailey thought that maybe she was good enough, and she was thankful all over again for such a precious daughter. Gracie deserved so much more than Bailey had given her.

  Filled with a new determination, she opened the door, straightened her back, stood as tall as she could, and walked with purpose through the front door of the middle school.

  They offered her the job on the spot. She smiled. The goodness of the people of this town was evident all around her. Someone had called ahead to recommend her. They wouldn’t say who, but whoever it was had cleared an easy path for her to be hired.

  They’d heard about her at the rodeo, knew she could sing, and with her degree, she was a good candidate, anyway. Now, as she drove back to her parents’ house, she could only smile. Perhaps she could make a life for herself after all. As she walked out the door, she whispered, “Thank you God.” It was a start.

  Her phone dinged. When she stopped at a traffic light, she glanced down. Alarm flitted through her. Daniel. She pulled over to the side of the road and, with shaking hands, opened her texts.

  Hey, babe. I saw your daughter on television last night. Did she win a rodeo event? That’s incredible. Call me. I’d love to hear about her.

  No. Oh no, no, no. Bailey’s first reaction was to block his number. He could not weasel his way into their lives. He didn’t deserve to be there. But then she closed her eyes and breathed four times, trying to calm her beating heart. He was Gracie’s father. And she deserved to have her father in her life. It would be good for her. Wasn’t that what all the studies said? Could she deny her child a father who was showing signs that he wanted to be a part of her life?

  Could she actually welcome him in, though? She shook her head. She didn’t think so. That man had ruined her life. No, she’d ruined her own life, throwing away everything that was good, everything she loved for his false promises. He’d used her and then thrown her out.

  Of all the things she’d done for Gracie—coming home, facing her town, facing Maverick—she couldn’t be expected to do one more hard thing. Could she? Was she supposed to involve Daniel in their lives?

  She thought about Maverick and his brothers. They were a product of their awesome dad. But look at Maverick now, left in the world without his father. Would he have been the man he’d become if he’d been raised only by his mother? She had no way of knowing.

  But Mr. Dawson had been awesome. He was the Dawson name. Everyone in town had loved him. If he’d run for mayor, he would have won. Whatever he did, he worked hard until he succeeded. He was honor personified. But Daniel… She cringed. Daniel was a weasel. What kind of man would Maverick have become if raised by a weasel?

  Who could she talk to about this? Now more than ever, she craved advice. Could she talk to her parents about this sort of thing? She didn’t want to involve them in the emotional turmoil in her life. Bearing it on her own was hard enough; did those she loved really deserve to have to endure everything along with her?

  She just didn’t know what to do.

  Her phone dinged again. With a feeling of dread, she lifted it to see the text.

  Maverick. Just seeing his name eased the tightness that was building in her chest.

  Hey, I’d love to see you. Let’s start there.

  Could she confide in Maverick?

  She texted back, Okay.

  How about right now?

  Lol. Sounds good. I’m halfway between the school and home.

  Meet me at Sam’s?

  Be there in five.

  Sam’s was their high school hangout with the best burger she’d ever eaten and a special fry sauce that rivaled any she’d ever tasted. The owner, Judy, said it was her own special recipe, and whatever it was, it made Bailey smile every time it passed her lips.

  She pulled into the parking lot. Maverick’s truck was already out front. Instead of fighting the teenage thrill that jolted her heart into gear, she accepted it. Maverick was her man. He always had been. Did that mean anything for their future? Maybe. Or maybe not. It didn’t matter. She was just gonna accept that, no matter what he wanted, she was his.

  They made their way into Sam’s. At the familiar ding when they pushed the door open, Bailey smiled and breathed in the memories that swirled in the air with the delicious aromas. Judy came around from the back, wiping her hands on her apron. “Is that Bailey I see?” Her eyes twinkled with such warmth that Bailey ran forward.

  “Oh, Judy.” She flung her arms around the woman like she was family. “I’m so happy to see you.”

  She stiffened a little, so Bailey stepped away. “Oh, me too, dear. Now, you just make yourself comfortable. I’ll be out in a sec to bring you whatever you want. Anything—on the menu or not.” She leaned closer and whispered, “Maverick’s waiting. But, honey, remember you be good to him.” Her eyes were kind, but Bailey could see maybe Judy’s heart had been hurt when Bailey left too.

  Bailey nodded. “Thanks.” Then she lifted her gaze to meet Maverick’s. He sat in the corner booth, his arm over the back, his hat tipped up so she could get a good look at his face. His plaid work shirt was stretched across his broad shoulders and chest. Maverick the man was so much more than Maverick the youth. She imagined he turned every woman’s head, not just her own.

  “Thanks,” she murmured again, not seeing anything else but Maverick. His eyes were trained on her as she stepped toward the back of the diner. She couldn’t look away. Did she sit next to him in the crook of his arm like she always had, or did she sit across from him?

  He winked and indicated she sit right where she always had.

  She laughed and sat as close as she dared. Could this be happening? Was she free to forget her troubles for a minute and pretend she and Maverick were back together?

  “I’m so happy we can be friends again, Bailey.”

  Friends. Much of her euphoria fizzled out with that one word. What more did she deserve, really? He couldn’t be expected to even trust her after what she did.

  “Me too.” She smiled.

  Judy approached. “Now, this is a sight I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again.” She smiled at them. Her eyes held warning, but she said, “I’m so happy you two are together again.”

  Bailey sucked in her breath. “We’re—”

  “—happy too,” Maverick finished for her.

  What was he doing?

  Judy pulled a pencil out from behind her ear. “What are we having tonight?” She pointed at Bailey. “If you were eighteen, I’d say you’re the regular burger without onions, fries and sauce, and a strawberry shake.”

  Bailey grinned. “That’s the best meal you serve. I’d like exactly that.”

  Maverick shook his head. “Ho, ho, not the best meal, the second best. I’d like your barbecue double with cheese, and I agree on the fries and sauce. That’s your best meal.”

  “Done. And to drink?”

  “Chocolate shake for old times.”

  When she turned away, Bailey shook her head. “She’s something. I missed her almost as much as my own mom.”

  “I think she can take credit for helping to raise half the kids in this town.”

  “She really c
an. I remember she sat me down one time to talk about girl stuff and how to handle the mean girls in middle school.” She sipped the water Judy had left them. Bailey expected Judy’s version of the inquisition would come sooner or later. And after all the times they’d talked, she deserved her own explanation.

  Maverick leaned closer. “Thanks for explaining things the other night, Bailey. The hardest part was not knowing.” The pain in his voice and on his face brought immediate tears to her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Maverick. You didn’t deserve it. Would it help to talk about it?”

  He fiddled with his napkin. “I think so. At any rate, there are a few things I’d like you to know. And this will be quick. I want today to be fun and relaxed, the start of something new.” He frowned. “But I have to say a few things. You should have called, texted, sent a message through a friend, anything. We all care about you. We were worried. We didn’t know if you’d been hurt, or abducted, or what. Not until the first paper picked you up.”

  Bailey dipped her head. “You’re so right. I’ll try to make it up to everyone somehow. I was scared. It was hard to own up to doing something so terrible. And I didn’t want everyone trying to convince me to come back. So I ghosted.”

  He didn’t answer.

  “And I know that doesn’t make it okay.”

  “The other thing I want you to know is that all these years, all this time, I’ve loved you. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. You were my first and only girlfriend. You’re the one, Bailey.”

  Her heart tripped in hope.

  “But I’m in a strange position. My heart might be shouting for you, but my brain is telling me to stop. I just don’t know enough to know where this should go.” He searched her face. “And I can’t tell where you see this going either.” He fiddled with his napkin. “So, as long as you know I’m a mess, we’re good.”

  “I came here with no expectations. I’m the one with nothing to offer. You owe me nothing, that’s for sure.”