Flirting With First Read online

  He fell into the chair beside her. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

  “Nothing. It looks great. But you could amp it up.”

  “That’s specific.”

  “This has to come from inside you. What do you have? What emotion can you use to help define the scene? You’ve lost her forever. You’re sort of proud of her in a weird way, but you’re devastated and think you’ll never love again. But at the same time, that’s okay because your sacrifice will make her happy.”

  He dropped his head in his hands and looked at her with one eye. “That’s the problem. I’ve never felt anything that noble.”

  She shook her head. “It doesn’t have to be to this magnitude. Did you ever, like, give up a seat on the subway?”

  He looked away and shrugged.

  “Okay, how about we switch gears. What would you do for your mom?”

  “That’s weird.”

  “Stop. This isn’t a romantic scene. This is a scene about loving enough to let go.” She choked. And suddenly a great fear filled her. She couldn’t let Ryker go, but she couldn’t let this movie opportunity go either. But how could she expect someone to stick around for that long, only talking to her once a day or less?

  Trevor sighed. “I’ve lost you.”

  “Yeah, sorry, I’m thinking about stuff. Look. You can do it. In this case, I’ll give you advice against my training. If you can’t find a way to be real, fake it.”

  “Fake it?”

  She winked. “Yeah, act.” She laughed. “You can do it. It’ll come across.”

  The director called him back over, and this time Trevor nailed it.

  “Well, what do you know?” She was so relieved to finally be done that she jumped up from her seat and had to hold her head to stop it from splitting. “Oh boy.”

  When the director waved her away, she held her head as she made her way to the trailer. She fell into bed and tried to sleep off this pounding headache.

  When she woke up, her head was tender, but the sharp pains were gone. She pulled out her phone. Ryker had sent her a message. She slid it open but was disappointed with only, Goodnight.

  She stared at those lonely words for a long time. The 3 AM hour was as quiet as it always was, even on set, and she closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. She could work things out with Ryker. They would find a way.

  She hoped.

  But as sleep refused to wrap its tendrils around her consciousness, leading her back into merciful oblivion, she couldn’t think of a single way they could last through the next three months, and she didn’t know how she was going to tell him any of this, either.

  The next morning, news of her new contract with Palmino was all over the acting world. She started getting texts from actor acquaintances as early as 8 AM.

  She called Quinn. “Why does everyone know about Palmino?”

  “He leaked it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yup. He said he was going to. Once he knew we were in, he wanted to create a secret leak and start building hype.”

  “How much of a leak?”

  “It’s starting to spread. If there’s anyone you haven’t told, you might want to.” They hung up. What on earth was going on? She’d sent a digital signature not twelve hours earlier.

  She moaned. And then her phone rang.

  “Ryker.” She smiled, even though she suspected he wasn’t happy.

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Good to hear your voice.”

  “You too. I’m on my way to practice and just started to see some stuff about you taking a job in Europe? Three months?”

  She sighed. “Yeah. I wanted to tell you in person. We just finalized things last night. It’s an opportunity I can’t turn down.”

  “Or you don’t want to, right?”

  “No, I don’t want to.”

  “I see.”

  “Ryker, this isn’t personal. We can push through this. I woke up scared that we wouldn’t be able to figure it out.”

  “I don’t know. Even these past few days have been rough.”

  “We got to touch base. I thought that was great.”

  “My version of touching base and yours are obviously different.” He paused. “And I would know since it’s my job.” The smile in his words was clear, and Trista breathed out in relief.

  “We gonna be okay?”

  “I hope so. If I live through your next movie.”

  Trista remembered a bit of good news. “Hey, I have to fly back for the red carpet event. I’ll see you then.”

  “Is this a date?”

  “Absolutely. Sweats. Your place. Dinner not even required.”

  “You’re on. Except no sweats.”

  “Oh right. I forgot who I’m talking to. Dress, heels.”

  “Mm. I love the sound of that.”

  She drank in his voice, the feeling that maybe for a minute they were in the same room and not across the country from each other. “So, tell me about your night.”

  “After the video, we had dinner. I paid for Sawyer, and he ordered the biggest, most expensive meal they have. Lobster, steak, side of shrimp, multiple appetizers.” She could hear the pretend exasperation in his voice. “But he shared, so it was all good. He got the record. Blew past the last one so thoroughly he’s gonna hold it for decades.”

  “I bet it was great to be with the guys.”

  “It was. Missed you though.”

  “Yeah, I miss you too.”

  The sound of his car turning off and door opening told her what his next words verified. “Gotta run. Let’s talk tonight. I want to know what to expect.”

  “You got it.”

  The problem was that she had no idea what to expect or how they would possibly make it work. Or if Ryker would stick around long enough for her to have a real future with him.

  Chapter 23

  A few days later, Ryker borrowed Cole’s jet. Well, he hitched a ride with Cole in the jet, so he could see Trista back in New York. She was flying out to Amsterdam in a couple days, and this was his last chance to see her before she left.

  He thanked Cole without even really seeing his friend. In a daze, he took a car to her apartment. When he rang up, her voice on the intercom at last jarred him awake. “I’m here.”

  On his way up the elevator, he couldn’t account for the nervous drumming of his heart. She was leaving. Something inside feared what he’d thought all along. She would eventually tire of him, and her career would take her places he couldn’t go.

  The door opened, and he stepped out, expecting to walk to her apartment. But there she stood, right in front of him. He stared for a moment, unsure what to do, and then pulled her into his arms. They rocked together, without speaking, for many minutes. She tugged him inside. His lips found hers without thinking, and he guided her over to the couch. He fell back, pulling her with him, and cradled her at his side, exploring every part of her mouth he knew he would miss when she left.

  She shifted, and he paused, searching her face.

  “Should we talk again about why this isn’t good for us?” Ryker knew he shouldn’t bring it up again. They’d talked it to death, and he knew she had to grab this opportunity and run with it while it was hers.

  She just sighed and rested her head on his arm. “I hate that I can’t take you with me.”

  “Would Palmino even allow it?” From what Trista had said, Palmino had been super mysterious about the film’s location. The cast wasn’t allowed to share any info with anyone, and their time for communication with anyone offset was limited.

  “He can’t legally control things like that.”

  “True.” Ryker logged that piece of information away. Maybe a day would open up for him to take a trip to Amsterdam. Even as he thought it, he knew it would be nearly impossible. “Tell me about you coming back again?”

  “The red carpet event.”

  “Right.” He smiled. “Do you want me to wear white again?” He toyed with her ha
ir. “It’s fitting that we met on the red carpet, you know.”

  Her face looked uncomfortable.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t think we were talking about you being my date at the event, just that weekend—before and after the event.”

  He backed away so he could see her face better. “You got another date for the actual event?” Alarm bells rang in his head.

  “Not a date. It’s a business appearance, for publicity.”

  “Trevor.” He tried not to growl the guy’s name, but he was sick of him, Team Trevor, and the whole movie. If Trista wasn’t in it, he’d never even go watch it.

  ‘Yes, Trevor. It’s helpful if we go together, build up hype for the movie.”

  Ryker looked over her head, out the window. “You have an awesome view.”

  She twisted her body so she could look behind her. “I love it.” Then she turned back. “But you’re avoiding this. Are you okay with with not being my date? I told Trevor and our agents that I would go with him.”

  Ryker shrugged. He wasn’t okay with it. But he was fine, sort of. He didn’t know what to say. “For the record, I’d like to be the man at your side, always. But I get that you have responsibilities, and that for your job you’ll sometimes have to walk on the arms of punks like Trevor.” He smiled to soften the somewhat harsh comment. “I’ll be there for you, before, after, during, whatever you need, I’m your man.”

  She kissed his mouth, slowly, intensely, then stopped. “Thank you.”

  He ran his fingers down her arm and watched as her hairs stood on end. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do for these next few months without you.”

  “I’m sure you’ll play a lot of ball.”

  “True.” But somehow even baseball felt a bit dull without her in his life. “How often can you call again?”

  “I can check in after-hours whenever I want. But those hours are gonna be crazy—late, early, sometimes the middle of the night, depending on what we need for lighting and scenery.” She closed her eyes. He could see her fatigue. “But once a week, I have a day off. I can talk on that day whenever.” She shrugged. “It’s not always the same day, so I’ll let you know.”

  He pulled her closer and rested his chin on the top of her head. They lay there, Ryker soaking in every moment he could before he knew he would have to go. “I have to fly out again.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  “Cole’s jet makes things like this possible, but I only have a few more minutes.”

  “I know.” Her voice sounded small.

  He kissed the top of her head, not wanting to move, even though he had to. “Oh, I brought you something.” He reached for the bag he’d dropped on the floor. “Just something to bring with you.”

  She opened up the bag and pulled out a picture of the view from his balcony by day.

  “Since you haven’t seen it yet.”

  She smiled. “This is perfect.” Then she pulled out an airplane travel neck pillow. “Mm. It smells like you.” She buried her face in it.

  He waited for the last thing. An envelope.

  When she pulled it out, he said, “Don’t open it yet. Wait until you miss me.” He hoped she would miss him. His hand reached into his pocket, fingering the stone.

  “I already do.”

  He pulled her close again. “Then wait until I’m not around.”

  “You don’t want me to read it in front of you?”

  “It’s not that. I just want you to feel close to me when I’m not there.” He brought out his stone. “There’s one more thing.”

  She swallowed, looking from the stone up to his face and back.

  “This is the stone everyone’s all excited about. I usually kiss it.” He pressed it to his lips. “I want you to have it.”

  “What!”

  “I’d just feel better if you took my luck with you. Maybe you’ll need it. It’s something.”

  Her eyes misted. “That’s amazing. Thank you.” She cradled the stone in her hands and watched him while she brought it to her lips.

  He swallowed, watching her mouth press onto that stone. Something about sending the rock off with her felt comforting, almost as if it would bring her back. Where did he need luck the most right now anyway?

  He kissed her, but it was too painful to linger. She clung to him before he pulled away. The feel of her fingers sliding across his back as he walked out the door tingled through him all the way back to the airport hangar where he boarded Cole’s jet.

  Cole looked up from a book. “Everything okay?”

  Ryker shrugged. “I appreciate this man.”

  “No problem. I get it.” Cole went back to his book.

  Ryker knew his friend was giving him space, and he was grateful. He needed it. Leaving Trista felt like he was leaving a great hole, bare. He ached inside and they’d only been apart for a few minutes.

  He and Cole travelled together to Texas because Ryker played the Mustangs next, and Ryker would get to see Cole light up centerfield for a couple games. He was grateful to be busy travelling these first couple weeks. When he went back to Baltimore, he’d notice Trista’s absence more. Though really, how much time had they actually spent together? Why did her leaving feel like a jolt to his heart? Not much would change.

  After about an hour, Cole moved to sit by him. “So, talk to me.”

  “She’s gonna be in Europe for three months. She can only really talk once a week. Otherwise it’ll be at odd midnight hours if we’re lucky.”

  Cole nodded. “You guys close?”

  Ryker shrugged. “That’s what I’m sitting here wondering. I feel close even though we didn’t see each other much. I guess with her I just always feel like I never get enough.” He inwardly cringed. Did he sound lovesick? Desperate?

  But Cole seemed unfazed. “I get it, man. This is your first big test then, right? If she’s gonna be your piece of pie, then you’ll know after the long-distance thing.”

  Ryker resisted razzing him about the pie comment. He wondered if the man knew women didn’t love all the pet names he gave them. Then again, maybe some did. Cole had a heart of Texas gold. If people couldn’t see that, they were blind.

  “Some things you gotta fight for though, right?” Ryker asked. “You can’t just sit around and wait to see if it will work out.”

  “Don’t I know that!” He smirked. “Well, is she worth fighting for?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then you look for ways to show her. This movie’s a big deal for her. Baseball’s a big deal for you. You both gotta sit down and decide if what you have together is also a big deal.”

  Ryker studied him with a whole new appreciation. “Wow, Big Dawg. I might start quoting you.”

  He leaned back and laughed. “Me and Yogi. That would be something.” Watching Ryker, he added. “Nothing wrong with communication.”

  Ryker snorted. “I’ll remember that in three months.”

  Cole shook his head. “There’ll be other opportunities. Watch for them; figure this out together.”

  Ryker vowed to do just that. He wanted to be together with her, like a real permanent thing. He didn’t think marriage, not too loudly, but it raced through his mind as an option. If they were to take more steps in that direction, something would have to change.

  Chapter 24

  Trista fell back into her chair. It had her name on it, literally. Palmino made sure everyone had their own space. He was big on having time to recoup. And Trista was grateful for that time.

  Her co-star, Tyrel, came to stand behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “That was tough.”

  She welcomed his gentle pressure on her muscles and leaned forward so he could reach more of her back. “I’ve never felt more raw.” The movie had action, adventure, and plenty of drama. The scene had required some serious depth of emotion. She had to reach deep to pull out painful parts of her past in order to portray the scene just right. And it had taken its toll. Thankfully, they’d kept
her piece after just two cuts.

  “You’re a genius. You’re beautiful.”

  She didn’t answer. Everyone said she was beautiful.

  He eyed her in the mirror. His own ebony skin, stark green eyes, and long hair were beautiful as well. “What I mean is you’re a beautiful person. What you carry in your heart, what you portray to others, is beautiful.”

  Her eyes misted. She was exhausted, and that felt like the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. “Thank you.”

  “Oh, hey now. That was supposed to make you smile.”

  “I’m smiling.”

  He leaned forward and squeezed her shoulders, resting his head on top of hers. Then he backed away. “I’ll give you some space before we’re back at it.”

  She nodded. They’d been in Amsterdam for two weeks now, and she felt like she was losing herself. More and more, the cast had become her family, and the movie, her life. She knew the producer had orchestrated that feeling on purpose, and it was working for their scenes. But some moments, she knew she needed a break, a recharge, or she’d burn out before the movie was finished.